Tuesday, January 24, 2006

A Dining Adventure in 3 Parts

Part I - Late Night Fast Food in the City That Never Sleeps (except of course when it's sleeping)



There is a certain pizza establishment in the area that has a yellow neon sign proclaiming that it is open 24 hours - however every time I attempt to frequent their restaurant it seems to be CLOSED. What's that about?

Part II - Get Your Passport - We're going to Harlem!

While Marvin was on the West coast (enjoying dinners that cost more then our monthly rent) I met up with some friends to check out the Dinosaur BBQ. The Dino BBQ not only offers highly regarded food, but also a full fashion line (including a selection of "Pork City" T-shirts) - how could I resist?

With passport in hand I headed over to "WeHa" - fabulous West Harlem -- where the subways run OUTSIDE!




The restaurant does live up to it's hype - and apparently even attracts celebrities (as witnessed by the autographs in the bathroom stall)



After some fried green tomatoes, brisket, bacon, Mac & Cheese, Baked Beans and some Key Lime Pie I waddled my way out of the restaurant. Can you spot the irony in this picture?



Part 3 - When You're Waitress Doesn't Give A Fuck

Marvin and I have a terrible habit of going out to dinner so late that our only choices end up being neighborhood diners. Since I didn't feel like getting stabbed on the way to dinner, we headed up to the Chelsea Gallery. Our waitress had no visible emotion AT ALL -- getting this woman to crack a smile was harder then getting George Bush to march in a gay pride parade. After experiencing the least friendly service at a restaurant ever, she presents us with the following check:



Ok- WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? It's not a smile- it's not a frown - it's just --- indifferent. That face is totally saying "Have a nice day - or don't - I couldn't give a shit!"

I asked Marvin his feelings on our not so social waitress - his reply:

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Newsflash - Your Job is a Waste of Time



While walking home from dinner tonight I was approached by a man diligently handing out fliers for a topless club --- IN THE MIDDLE OF CHELSEA. Yes - trying to attract people to see topless WOMEN on the corner of 18th street and 8th avenue.
News"flash" to the aforementioned flyerguy - there's no chance in hell any of those men are going to see your topless review - unless of course you can guarantee that it will star Elizabeth Berkley or Gina Gershon and include at least one cat fight.


Shifting gears from "titties to things to eat with tater tots":
I implore you to read this article about an unfortunate son of a vegetarian who's only wish is for pork products.

Monday, January 09, 2006

High Quality Entertainment

Sorry for the lack of posts lately - there's actually a HUGE post coming sometime soon of my picks of the best music of 2005 --- but I'm waiting for Marvin to add his .02 cents. Marvin is currently off in LA on business and will hopefully find time to finish up his list sometime before I die.
Here's hoping we get an update from the left coast soon.

Shifting gears- here's a brief recap of things I've found entertaining in the last few weeks:

Movies:

Brokeback Mountain

Everything you've heard about this movie is true -- it's tragic, heartbreaking and haunting. The movie is filled with amazing cinematography that does an excellent job of conveying a sense of loneliness and isolation. The movie begins in Wyoming over 40 years ago and sadly many gay people today still face the bigotry and internal conflicts depicted in this film. One needs only to look at the number of people who rated "Brokeback Mountain" a 1/10 on imdb.com to see that homophobia is alive and well in this country -- I mean - you may not have absolutely loved this film - but it certainly is not among the worst movies ever made! Hopefully conservative Amerikkka can learn something from this film.
In my opionion (and Marvin's as well) Brokeback Mountain isn't a movie that will leave you weaping hysterically, but it is a movie that you will find yourself thinking about well after the credits have rolled.

What Alice Found

What an odd yet entertaining movie -- Alice - a teenage girl -- is attempting to run away from home when has her car breaks down on the highway. Alice is "rescued" by a middle aged prostitute and her husband/pimp who proceed to turn Alice out nightly in their RV.

Tarnation
A boy grows up in the shadow of his mentally ill mother and faces an unbelievable amount of abuse and tragedy. This documentary was created for under $300 and is shocking, riveting and very depressing.

Riding The Bus With My Sister

After months of searching, I finally got my hands on a DVD quality copy of this 2005 Hallmark Hall of Fame made for TV movie. This film belongs in the "Showgirls Hall of Bad Cinema" and features Rosie O'Donnel playing a retarded woman. While this movie is supposed to be heartwarming, it's hard not to laugh when Rosie seems to be playing both rain man and Pee Wee Herman at the same time. The above link will give you a good idea of what you're in for should you choose to see the movie.

Music:

Mary J Blidge - The Breakthrough
One of Mary's best CDs EVER. I've heard the album from start to finish a few times now and it seems to get better with every listen. An unexpected highlight of the CD is Ms. Blidge's cover of U2's "One" - Mary keeps the integrity of the song but yet gives it her own spin at the same time (or "Makes It her Own" as they say on American Idol)

Books
Al Franklin - The Truth (with Jokes)
The very funny follow up to his "Lying Liars.." book of a few years back. Due to the fact that we are currently in the grips of one of the shadiest governments in US history I'm sure Al had no problems gathering material for this book.

The Time Out Guide to Buenos Aires

Ok- so it's not really a "book" -- but I'm reading it to prepare for our upcoming return to Argentina. It seems to be a great travel guide, and has already helped me pick out some spots in BA that I seem to have missed on our last trip (like the Bible theme park where Jesus rises from the dead every half hour -- no, really!)

Games

Animal Crossing - Wild World for Nintendo DS
I'm convinced that there is crack in this game - that's the only way I can explain how addictive it is. This is not a game where you win or loose- you simply exist. Think of it as "The Sims Lite" - you run around in a computer generated world fishing, gardening, and buying stuff. It's a great 10 minute daily diversion, and it's online enabled.


Internet Links

Marvin and I were thrilled when Talk Soup picked it's #1 TV Clip of the year - Whitney Houston's infamous "Kiss My Ass" clip from "Being Bobby Brown". Marvin and I must have rewound that episode of BBB about 2,000 times, and we were glad to see that someone else loved the clip as much as we did. Click here to see the "Kiss My Ass" montage [thanks Joe]

Depressed over Brokeback Mountain? Check out this "trailer" for the Man/Horse love story of the year Bareback Mountain. Absolutely fucking twisted and brilliantly done.