CondaLezzie Rice and The Temple of Poon (and other random thoughts)

Ok - I'll admit it - I'm a bit of a (Condi) Rice Queen -- I don't really agree with any of her politics, but there's something very campy about this woman. Maybe it's the way that she always looks so angry.

I've always wondered if she were a bit of a lesbian -- and it's totally not because she's a strong woman or a successful female - she just gives off that vibe.

Regardless if she's a lesbian or not, the following exchange that took place with James Rosen on Fox & Friends is VERY amusing [taken from Radar On-Line 'cause you know I'm not watching Fox!]

ROSEN: … All right. I close with a gift for you. You met this person once, I believe, but you really, I think, ought to know each other because this woman is… I think you’ll have an interest in knowing her. She is one of our Fox News anchors in New York. Her name is Lauren Green. She is brilliant, she’s beautiful, she’s African-American, she’s single and she’s a concert pianist in her spare time.

RICE: My goodness.

ROSEN: And she asked me to give you her CD and I promised her that I would.

RICE: That’s perfect.

ROSEN: And here’s her doing a number of different classical pieces.

RICE: Well, that’s special.

ROSEN: So there you have it.

RICE: Thank her very much and I look forward to seeing her sometime.

ROSEN: All right. She’s going to want to hear from you.

RICE: And maybe even playing dual piano sometime.


Are you sure you don't mean dueling banjos Condi?

Dueling Banjos - V. Two or more people masturbating eachother, or engaging in masturbation with eachother.

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In other amusing/scary news, James Dobson of the ultra-right "we took the fun out of fundamentalist" pseudo Christian radio show "Focus on the Family" is waiting for a sign from God as to if he should endorse George Bush's pick for the supreme court - Harriet Miers.

he says:

"If this is not the person you want on that Supreme Court, all you have to do is tell me so, and do it through any means you want to." ...

The full article is here and comes to us via The Huffington Post

I showed this article to a friend of mine who asked me if I was showing him a satire site like The Onion - but no, it's real.

I'm wondering what kind of notification James expects from God. Does God do email?


to: james@focusonthefamily.com
from: jehova@gmail.com

Hi James -
Long time no speak. Sorry to keep you waiting, but I haven't made up my mind about Harriet yet. I'll be out of the office for the rest of the week and don't know if I'll have internet access, so I'll either send you a note from my blackberry or start a burning bush in front of your house or something (get it? burning bush?) -

thanks,
God

PS: Tell Condi to stop being so uptight. She could bag much hotter chicks if she'd smile once in a while.
*****




In equally surreal news, Anna Nicole Smith will be having her multi-million dollar inheritance case tried before the supreme court. The Daily News ran an article about how important wardrobe will be to the verdict of her case:

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Should she take some pointers from new court-nominee Harriet Miers, who showed up for her big day at the Oval Office in a conservative indigo suit and comfort pumps? Or should the former Playmate just stick to her trashy roots, sporting spandex and a TrimSpa banner?

"She shouldn't flirt with John Roberts," says celebrity image consultant Daniel DiCriscio, who believes Anna had better go for broke - or wind up broke. "I really think she needs to be very direct, very clean. She shouldn't be wearing any getups. I know she's Anna and she can do anything, but this it: Either you make an impression now, or you get nothing.

"Anna Nicole has to strike a chord that's somewhere between manipulative gold digger and flaky bimbo vixen," says Clinton Kelly, co-author, with Stacy London, of "Dress Your Best" (Three Rivers Press, $18.95). "This will be difficult. So, if she asked me, I'd counsel her to stay away from black, which would look too severe - not to mention that her grieving period should be over about now." Adds London, "Under no circumstances should she wear pink or show any cleavage."
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No pink? Clearly Bobby Trendy won't be wardrobing her for the hearing.

Poor Anna. Surely she can hide the fact that she's a trashy ho for a little while, right?

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"It's a bit late for her to pull back the image," says Simon Doonan, creative director of Barneys New York. "I mean, that would be definitely shutting the stable door after the horse has bolted. So she really needs to deliver the full-on burlesque supervixen. It's gotta be something from the Southern Italians."

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Amd speaking of Italians - somehow Frankie Gotti (of *that* Gotti family) has collected $300,000 and opened his own tanning salon in Long Island - at age 15!

Even at this young age he seems to already be a smart businessman -

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The salon, to employ 12 people, is just the first in a chain Frankie has planned. He hopes to have his second salon next year on Staten Island.
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No one loves fake tanning like the citizens of Staten Island. People on SI are so overtanned that they actually become a shade of grey - affectionaly known to me as "Staten Island Grey".

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Finally, I've saved "the best" for last - via The Huffington Post:

Legislation has been introduced in the Indiana legislature that would prohibit gays, lesbians and single people in Indiana from using medical science to assist them in having a child.

The bill has the support of Senator Patricia Miller, the chair of the Health Finance Commission where the legislation is currently being considered.


The actual bill can be found here - it states that a woman needs a "gestational certificate" in order to pursue any type of fertility procedure. The woman must be married and complete a screening process to be eligible. Part of that screening process includes proof that the woman has "[participated] in faith-based or church activities". Yup - still not satire.

I wonder if this law includes a loophole for Condi?