Monday, September 12, 2005

The Definition of Wrong - #2

We're on the verge of repainting the apartment..the living room has been a shade of dark red for almost 3 years now and it's time for a change. We decided to head off to Bed, Bath & Beyond to pick up some primer to help cover up the current color.

We went over to what used to be the paint section of the store only to discover that BB&B no longer sells paint--- in it's place they now sell Revlon makeup, deodorant, and hair care products -- wtf?

If we were at any other store we would have just gone home - but Bed, Bath & Beyond is no normal store. I don't think I've ever gone into the store without leaving with multiple items I had no intention of buying. Tonight Marvin and I debated for 10 minutes if we needed to buy "take out plates" - which were tiny dishes with cartoon drawings of Chinese food for use when you order takeout -- because when you live in a small NYC apartment you need a set of dishes specifically for when you order-in Asian food.

On our way through the store we noticed they had a section of foot massagers. We actually watched a woman open a folding chair, put a display foot massager on the floor, and then TAKE OFF HER SHOES AND SOCKS AND GIVE HERSELF A MASSAGE. Not only that, but she had nasty feet- hair on the toes and was in clear need of a pedicure.

I bet she also leaves her period panties in the laundry room of her building.

Lady (whomever you are), tonight you are THE DEFINITION OF WRONG.

Tonight Marvin and I also watched a movie on LOGO (aka - the Gay channel) called Ski Trip.
It was advertised as a groundbreaking, realistic film portrayal of black and Latino gay life in NYC -- in actuality it was almost as bad as the lady with the bad corns at BB&B.
To sum up the hour of which we've seen so far:
- a black gay guy named Corey gets dumped by 'hot chocolate boyfriend', gets depressed and turns 30
- his 5 friends decide to take him on a ski trip - a drag queen who wants to be on Broadway, a Latin bartender who sleeps with everyone, a skinny, bitchy queen who works at a clothing store on Christopher street, a lesbian, and the nice guy friend who is madly in love with Corey
- the bitchy queen brings a "hot piece of ass" to the ski trip, turns out the guy is a male escort
- the lesbian falls in love with a deaf mute woman- but she's secretly having a baby with the drag queen (and haven't told Corey yet)
- The "hot chocolate boyfriend" shows up and it turns out he's straight-- and he's never actually been with Corey
- The words "drama", "bitch", and "girl" have been said about 3,000 times each

Our favorite line in the movie thus far was a speech the male prostitute declares his emancipation from his john:
"Get your hands off me - 'cause you'll never be able to afford my heart"

Is there a rule that 99% of gay movies have to be crap? Can't logo do better then this?

In the news today:

Scientists discover the first ever cocktail - made 5,000 years ago!

Some twisted person makes an amazingly funny "Being Bobby Brown" highlight reel to the tune of "Love that Man"


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